Don’t Go For 2nd Best, Baby – Assert Yourself

assertive-not-assaultive-cc-cover-september-2016

Assertiveness

Being assertive is based upon the belief that your needs and wants are AS important BUT NOT MORE important than the needs and wants of others.  On either side of assertive behavior is aggressive behaviour and passive behaviour.   Aggressive behaviour is the inherent belief that your needs and wants are more important and TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER those of others.  Passive behaviour is the inherent belief that your needs and wants are less important and TAKE A BACK SEAT to those of others.

Being assertive allows you to positively and proactively express yourself to be as effective and happy as you can be.  Becoming assertive will help you develop better communication skills, improve your self-confidence and self esteem, and improve your decision making skills.  Instead of gaining APPROVAL from, and ceding power to, others with passive behaviour, you now have the opportunity to gain RESPECT.  Instead of intimidating and silencing other people with your aggressive behaviour, you have the opportunity for open and honest discourse and interaction, benefitting all involved.

Practice these behaviours and watch the magic of your assertiveness:

  • Know what you want!
  • Be sure what you want is fair.
  • Ask for what you want clearly.
  • Stay calm before, during, and after clearly asking for what you want.
  • Seriously, stay calm.
  • Accept praise AND criticism with equanimity, and look for the TRUTH in it.

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